One day, I got the happy news that my friend Bob had become the proud father of a baby girl. After two boys, Bob really wanted a girl. So I expected Bob to be very happy when I went down to his office to congratulate him.
Instead, I found Bob scowling to himself and crumpling papers on his desk. So I asked him what the problem was. Bob explained that he was very happy at first and then he started thinking about the day when boys would come to his house to date his daughter. Bob made some very nasty comments about what those boys would want to do to his sweet daughter and swore about what he would want to do to those boys.
This sounded insane to me because his daughter was not even a day old that time. I told him so. He said he knew he was being nuts but that he simply could not stop thinking about the day a boy would knock on his door to date his lovely innocent daughter. I can still see scowling Bob’s face to this day.
I thought of this tale when I watched this week’s crazy CNBC segment with Jim Rogers and Larry Kudlow*. In this segment, these two intelligent and seemingly sane people rant wildly about how hyperinflation would arise in America and how it would destroy the US dollar. It does not matter to them that there is no sign of inflation anywhere in real America, America which again lost over 340,000 jobs this month, America in which real Americans (unlike CNBC Anchor Guzillionaires) are seeing their incomes being squeezed and their credit lines being cut. But, it does not seem these facts matter to them because their anti-inflation phobia reached a messianic fervor in that CNBC segment.
It occurred to me that all these years I had done an injustice to my friend Bob. He was so much saner than these guys. After all, it was a fact of life that his daughter would grow up to an age where she might want to date. But Inflation? It has not even been conceived yet. And there is no guarantee that it will. Look at Japan. They have been trying to conceive inflation for the past 20 years without success even after pouring massive amounts of money and stimulus.
In addition, my friend Bob is a normal father and not a Talebani. He did not keep his daughter at home like the Taleban do. He did not force his daughter to wear a head-to-toe veil to protect her from the wandering eyes of boys. I feel fairly certain that Bob would allow his daughter to date when she grows up to that age.
That is not true of the Inflation-Taleban like Jim Rogers, Larry Kudlow and their fellow inflation-jihadis at CNBC.
- Just as the Pakistani Taleban see signs of nascent immorality everywhere, today’s Inflation-Taleban see signs of nascent inflation everywhere.
- Just as Pakistani Taleban want to destroy schools for girls and keep girls locked up at home, the Inflation-Taleban want to destroy treasury bonds and keep the inflation potential locked up in Inflation-Protected securities.
- Just as Pakistani Taleban are willing to create destruction and hurt innocent civilians to prevent rise of the dreaded immorality, the Inflation-Taleban are willing to create bond destruction and hurt innocent working Americans by skyrocketing commodity prices to prevent the rise of the dreaded inflation.
- Just as Pakistani Taleban want to destroy schools for girls and keep girls locked up at home, the Inflation-Taleban want to destroy treasury bonds and keep the inflation potential locked up in Inflation-Protected securities.
The Pakistani Taleban have done this for many years. As the mountain snows melt, the Pakistani Taleban come out of hiding and begin their violence. When their campaign is over, they withdraw leaving behind an impoverished society and a damaged population in their wake.
The Inflation-Taleban have done this for the past 3 years. Since 2007, every April they come out of their winter hibernation and begin their campaign of exploding commodity prices, destroying the value of the dollar and violently selling off US Treasuries. When they withdrew in 2007 and 2008, they left behind impoverished portfolios and a damaged economy in their wake.
For years, American Presidents have requested moderate Pakistanis to speak up against the Taleban amongst them. Here we follow their lead and request moderate CNBC Anchors to speak out against the Inflation-Taleban amongst them. Are you listening, Jim Cramer? Or is being a “team player” more important to you than safeguarding the portfolios of CNBC viewers?
The Pakistani leadership is finally suffering the consequences of tolerating and supporting their Taleban for short-term tactical gains. Will CNBC Management eventually suffer the consequences of tolerating and supporting their Inflation-Taleban for short-term ratings gains?
Note:
* See the first clip in our article Interesting Videoclips of the Week (May 30-June 5)
**Those who do not believe us about inflation should get and read the April 9, 2009 report by Goldman Sachs titled “Hyperventilating About Hyperinflation”.
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